 Br. MikeO'Grady, S.J., Prisoner of Conscience |
School of the Americas |
Letter from Mike O'Grady to Angela
December 24, 2003
Christmas Eve
Dear Angela,
Thank you for your kind note and encouraging words. Thank you for a big book. When Alice stops by on Sunday, I'll be able to bring it in here. I must say, the conditions of this confinement, namely being in immediate proximity to 7 men in my cell and another 30+ in the cell block, I see the addictions and wounds that these guys carry in here with them. It is saddening and makes me pray all that much harder for our black men in this country.
As I hear guy's stories, listen to their bragging and horror stories, I try to listen, not to judge, to share what I've learned--maybe someone will get something they can use. May they think I'm just another story-teller.
There are guys (especially fellows who've been here for multiple months already, or those who are facing ong months in here) who are carrying the stresses of the confinement so heavily that they are depressed and "shut down." I see fellows who are clearly mentally ill. Some of these guys trade their meds to others so others can get "high" or "low" Then I see guys who handdle this space by playing tough, gambling, fighting, trying to be Alpha males in a grouping of insecure grown up kids. I'm really being changed by ths experienc--firstly, by the men with whom I'm locked up; and secondly, by the overwhelming correspondence. That is helping me to articulate my experiences and share the graces of this place with people outside.
I've moved through a thick barrier of resistance which took a long dark three weeks to fight through. What do you know, continually trying to surrender my fears and angers and discomforts to Jesus eroded the desolation, and I find myself accompanied by the good spirit's manisfestation of love, peace, interior calm, and encouragement.
Thank you for sharing my stories with our friends at St. Leo's and at work. This seems like part of the witness--sharing our experiences. I am impressed by your green sheet for the holidays that went out with St. Leo's Christmas baskets. We truly are "in his hands."
How's Big Brothers with Jule and Big Sisters with Rachel going? I know your are keeping busy and it's good to see you're looking at ways to say (and do) the concept of "no." How this shakes out in our lives (personally and apostolically) is always fascinating. Hang in there, Angela!!! I got a nice letter from Mary Beth a few weeks back and I'm so happy to know you gals and the struggles you are about in North Fairmount. Somehow, that's where God wants you, where you are receivng the good spirit, even in, or maybe because of, the struggles and challenges. I think God invites us into the broken places of our world, and if we persevere, he invites us into the broken places of our hearts. I think that's one of the reasons I'm here!
In Christmas Joy!
Your friend,
Mike
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