The following are the top problems with the new movie THE POSTMAN:

• It can't be shown on holidays, Sundays, or weekdays after 5p.m.

• Postal workers claim that the gunplay is "not realistic enough".

• The Teamsters are worried that they will lose UPS workers to the glamour of being a postman.

• The Postal Service has more to worry about from E-mail and the Internet than a catastrophic war.

• There is no guarantee of delivery for opening night.

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