September 13, 1998

Dear Editor:

The following is my imaginary monologue with Bill Clinton:

Sir, I consider it a great honor for me to be able to speak with you today.

I have always been frustrated by your policies:

• Staunchly pro-abortion while giving lip service to human rights
• Shutting down the government because you thought that Congress wasn’t spending enough money
• Ushering through (the 1994 Congress) the biggest tax increase in the history of the world, after promising a middle class tax cut
• Ushering through the pork barrel crime bill and legislation that could lead to the eventual ban of the private ownership of guns. When the citizenry lacks the ability to defend themselves, crime will substantially increase.
• Promising to reverse President Bush’s Haitian policy. Your words then prompted thousands to flee their country. Hundreds died on the open seas.
• Supporting gays in the military and special rights for homosexuals

In addition to your destructive policies, your personal conduct is appalling:

• Laughing while walking away from the Ron Brown funeral and then being able to instantly shed tears upon sight of the TV camera
• Not only being a draft dodger, but writing a letter stating that you “loathe the military”
• Multiple and ongoing scandals
• Admitting to “an improper relationship” only after the discovery of your DNA on a young woman’s dress
• Forcing Ken Starr to document sexual details because you refuse to admit that you lied under oath
• Making fools out of your wife and the White House staff for supporting your lies
• Propositioning Paula Jones and sexually assaulting other women

It would be satisfying to watch you resign in disgrace or be impeached. However, this is not what I have been praying for. My prayers would be answered if you and Hillary would turn yourselves around and devote your lives to Jesus Christ. Yes sir. I hope that you will join me and become a born-again-Christian. Repent and be baptized. Ask Jesus into your heart. Accept Him as your Lord and Savior and you will find the Kingdom of God. Chuck Colson of Watergate fame has done this and is now a powerful and great Christian.

Will you pray with me now Mr. President? Will you accept Jesus and pray with me?