[Note: this method has also proven effective with couples and adults in general.]

Parents and Children Making Decisions

Here is one way of holding an effective decision-making session. We call it the AGREE method, so you can remember each step by its first letter (A-G-R-E-E).

Ask for a specific time to work on one decision. Some families have regular family meetings which can be a good choice. Others set aside time when needed, like making an appointment.

Give and get suggestions from everyone directly involved in what the decision can be. At this point, you are interested in having lots of choices, and not in criticizing the ones that might not work. Brainstorm together.

Review the possibilities and make a choice. Many times there are several options that will work, but they can't all occur at the same time. Choose one.

Energize the decision. Make the necessary plans, and take the steps to act on the decision when it's time.

End the decision-making session. Review everyone's understanding of the decision, when, where and how it will happen. Then go on with the rest of your life.

People sometimes ask, "What happens if the decision we put into action doesn't work?" Then, you decide again, with the benefit of your new knowledge and experience. Parents all want to make the "right" choice, but, you won't know whether a choice was "right," until you've tried it. What you can do, is make a "good" choice, and sometimes find that you need to make a "better" one in the future.

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