Family Health improves your self-esteem article by Roger Gerwe in Cincinnati

Healthy Self-Esteem

When it comes to building, keeping and improving esteem in yourself and your family the work really begins at home. We really place a lot of importance on self-esteem. Our society communicates many esteem related messages. There are self-help books that tell us to repeat positive affirmations. Teachers in our schools emphasize improving our children's self-esteem through increased parental involvement. The month of February is even dedicated to self-esteem. It's called International Boost Your Self-Esteem Month.
So what do we mean by self-esteem? How do we sustain and improve it in ourselves and others? These are good questions to consider. Mark Douglas notes in his book How To Win with High Self-Esteem that self-esteem includes a "sense of personal ability" and "knowledge of personal value." High self-esteem means having a favorable view of yourself in relation to these abilities, values and goals. Healthy self-esteem is different from high self-esteem. People with healthy self-esteem know what they can and should do, feel positive and good self-esteem when doing these actions, and feels diminished self-esteem when not doing them. It seems that many of us fall into the healthy self-esteem category.
There are several actions you can take to more effectively use the healthy-esteem in you. First, get to really know yourself. This means being clear about your values, i.e., what you stand for and your personal ethics. It also means being clear about your goals, i.e., where you desire to go and your purpose in life. Problems occur when we don't have clear goals and values because we have to rely on others for feedback on our self worth. When it comes to setting realistic goals avoid unrealistic or rigid expectations of yourself and others. Have reasonable and doable goals in short term (1-3 months) and long term (1+ years) time frames. Reasonable means within your realm of abilities. Always push yourself to the maximum of your abilities. But be careful when going beyond your personal ability as failing can have negative consequences to your esteem.
Be sure to keep your life in perspective by constantly reviewing the big picture of your life. This view, of the big picture, of your goals and abilities is especially important at times of temporary setbacks, criticism from others, and feelings of insecurity. The solution is always about skill development that supports keeping your perspective and balance.
Remember, healthy self-esteem is the product of having a good sense of who you are, what your personal abilities are and clarity of your values and goals. We should all consciously think about where we are and how we can increase our personal and family satisfaction in life. We do this by acknowledging where we are healthy and getting appropriate help if we are not.