Bingo's Entertainment Guide (excerpt)

Information by Dave Neal. Formatting by Solace

Black & Decker’s: Ork Underground; this is basically an arena, where folks duel each other for prize money; Thursday night is Chainsaw Night; Sunday night is Amateur Night. Definitely not for the squeamish, and periodically subject to raids by vice squads, who look down on pit fights.

>>Bingo: Yeah, be sure to bring a friggin’ bib with you when you go to this place, because it gets pretty splashy, particularly on Amateur Night. They use chainsaws, drills, circular saws; hell, even belt sanders -- the only stipulation is it's gotta be power tools. Fights can be to first blood all the way up to the death -- no shit! They got a nice Lexan barrier up around the arena, but sometimes things get outta hand. The music is that hard-core industrial stuff, and yer ears’ll be ringing for days (‘less, of course, you got implants or dampers, which case you can cut off that excess noise!) Their food ain’t what I’d call high class, but the drinks’re cheap. I’d haveta give this joint one star, cuz it sure ain’t family entertainment, but for yer real hardcases, it has some appeal, y’know?<<

Laudanum (formerly Lilith’s): Goth bar in Elftown. Says below the sign, "Where EVERY night is Goth Night" and services a predominantly elven and human clientele. They have a dress code – you have to wear black, or they won’t let you in. Bruisers are advised that a number of mages and shamans frequent this joint, so muscling your way in is not the best policy. The windows are tinted deep purple, so you can't see in (they are also made of layered Lexan). The lighting tends toward black lights, dark red and blue-gel spotlights, and lots and lots of candles (although they never give off too much light!)

>>Bingo: Oh, hell, this place is the creampuff-capital for most of the city; jeez, you got these Goths, right, preening an’ strutting around, eyeing and dishing on each other. Nose jobs galore, folks just wanking left and right, drinking crap "Socrates’ Delight" and "Double Suicide" and shit like that, talking about past lives, and how they’d best like to commit suicide, and who’s more Goth than the others, and how they’d rather be born in the 17th century. Fuck, they are real space cases. The whole joint is done up like an old mansion, and half the putzes in there think they’re vampires. Each room is a different color, like, thematically, and there’s this huge-ass clock in the Red Room (which ain’t red, I might add – it’s black) that when it dongs, you can’t help but listen to it. Anyhow, they skimp you on the portions, and dress it up with all sortsa arty farty crap, like flowers and leaves, and the drinks are all tall, skinny glasses with blue stuff in’em. Sheesh. I’d have to give this place two stars, cuz if yer a Goth, you’ll love it, but if you ain’t, you won’t. You shiv? I liked it better when it was Lilith’s, though, although it’s still a great place to pick up a mage, although they tend to be squidgier than most.<<

Warthog’s: Ork Underground; this is a biker bar, and services a tough, unruly crowd. Groucho, a leather-clad troll bouncer, deals with troublemakers (e.g, those who cause *too much* trouble). The Warthog biker gang has made this their meeting place; they have meetings there every Saturday night at 9:00, and stay there all night, before riding off on Sunday (usually to Cascade Ork). The Warthogs have a long-standing fued with the Fascist Pigs, and usually make a run by Pig strongholds, kicking Pig asses. The Warthogs are a rough, nasty bunch, but they do have a sense of biker honor; and if you're an Ork or a Troll, they'll consider you a blood, unless you fuck them over.

>>Bingo: Okay, I been to this place one time with a pal of mine named Victoria. Anyway, this is a hardass joint, and if it weren’t my good cred with SMERF, and a few well-timed wisecracks, these guys’d probably kicked my ass. I mean, the creak of leather in there is almost as deafening as the jingle of spurs. Tough crowd. The food has great portions, tending toward your deep-fried, high-fat stuff; it ain’t health food. Try a Molotov; that’s a pretty damned good drink, although don’t smoke right after you drink one – no shit! I’d have to give this place three stars, on account of all the history with this dive. Never arm wrestle Groucho; a pal of mine, Duke, got himself a cyberarm after one run, right? And he figures he'll take on Groucho with this powered-up arm of his. So they go to it, and Groucho manages to tear his damned cyberarm *clear outta the socket* -- now the damn thing's sitting over the bar, holding a beer mug. Shit, was Duke pissed.<<

Kroam: This is a decker bar; lots of chrome, mirrors, and neon. Street samurais visiting this bar stand out, as the clientele is notoriously computer-geeky. However, it’s a good place to score some needed ware (or information on who has the ware you need). There are jacks all over the place for deckers to hook in. Wednesday nights are Teen Night, so the place is packed, which can be good cover if you need a place to deck where folks won’t spot you right away!

>>Bingo: This is a decker bar; again, if you’re a decker, you’ll love it. If you’re not a geek, however, you’ll wanna run like hell from this pile o’ pencilnecks. Bunch’a whiners. The drinks are watered down (slows’em down, see?) but there is a collection of assorted high-caf colas they serve up that’ll keep your motor running for hours on end. Get the quintuple espresso and you’ll be up for days! They also have a great selection of junk food, enough that you sorta get sick looking at it all. I’d give it three stars.<<

The Billy Club: A rough, working-class bar, with lots of glass block. Dark, smoky, but they serve good hot wings (just don’t ask what the wings are – they’ll simply say "tastes just like chicken" and send you on your way!) Unfortunately, Fascist Pigs have been known to frequent this bar, which has caused many regulars to find their entertainments elsewhere. Pigs tend to hang there Thursday and Friday nights, getting sauced up and then roving about, looking for metahumans to kill.

>>Bingo: I’ve always liked this place, on account of the damned hot wings. Getcherself a pitcher of beer and a bucket o’wings, an’ yer all set. Now, this joint became a Pigpen about a year ago, when some new branches of the Humanis Youth Corps came to town. I think they took the place because it’s safer than the others, since a number of metas will crack Piggie heads on site (and I don’t blame’em). Anyway, this place used to be a great dive, but now with the Pigs on the scene, well, it needs some cleaning out, you know? Maybe I’ll put that on my list of "things to do." Anyway, I’d give this joint three stars, if only for the wings, although their chili ain’t bad, either.<<

Feisty’s: Troll bar; any non-Trolls are advised to watch their steps here. Try drinking the Tub o’ Beer or eating the Goliath if you want to sample troll-style dining at its finest! A handful of dwarves hang out at this place, on account of the exceptionally strong ale served here.

>>Bingo: Hell, yeah, you gotta watchyer step here! Sometimes you get some real cases at this place. Face it, trolls fight rough, and they play rough. It’s a rough joint. I damn near busted a kidney trying to do one of their shooters; the stuff is stronger than hell. If you got someone who’s too big for his/her britches, drag’em to Feisty’s! If a troll woman wants to get you in trouble, she’ll hit on ya, an’ then if you dis her, one of her bar buddies’ll saunter over and kick yer ass. I seen that happen to a friend of mine, Skeeter Hennessy; the way outta this trap is to buy her a drink or two and sorta chat her up; she’ll leave ya alone after awhile. Definitely don’t try to bull yer way out, cuz you will lose, chummer! I’d give this place three stars, four for trolls.<<

Uncle Buck’s: Uncle Buck is a Troll bartender who runs an unassuming tavern with quality (if uncomplicated) fare. A number of fixers conduct business at Buck’s, because his wholesome reputation (and payment of bribes) keeps Lone Star at bay (usually).

>>Bingo: Buck’s a real sport. He took an old dive and made it a real dandy place; the booths are deep enough to cover up all the biz taking place, and you don’t usually have to worry about Lone Star getting on yer case there, which is cool. The food’s good, and the drinks’re better. Ask Buck to getcha "the Usual" and your head’ll be swimming for the rest of the night. Four stars, easy.<<

Spiffy’s Juice Bar: This is a favorite hangout by physical adepts, and serves non-alcoholic and smart drinks. You can have a drink made of just about any fruit or vegetable here. There is also a savory menu of tofu and soy dishes, made to order. All-you-can-stand acupuncture in the back with cover charge, and don’t miss the Aromatherapy Room!

>>Bingo: Oh, yeah, when this place opened up, I had to drop by. Juice bar? Sheesh. Lotsa elves around, natch, and about every type of fizzy adept you could envision, with this New Age crap playing in the background – you know, sea birds and waves, and woodland sounds. Stuff like that. That’s sorta weird, and personally I hate the food, because it messes with your head – they’ve got soy processors in the kitchen that’ll make the same crappy kelp cakes and soy look like *anything*, and they season it so you can’t tell the difference. It’s a total mindfuck. Speaking of that, watch out for that damn acupuncture room, at least if you are about to eat; you’ll see folks looking like damned porcupines in there, grinning all the while. Fuck. And that stinkotherapy room is a real corker; you’ll be tasting "Sweet Lilac Contemplation" for weeks, if you breathe in too deep. I’d give this place one star, frankly, cuz it’s so damned weird. One-half star if a damned adept starts talking to you.<<

The Virtual Lounge: This is a more upscale cybercafe, where deckers come together – there are usually more folks decked into the Lounge than actually present; in fact, if not for the supply of pirated wares located here, you’d likely not get anyone in at all; there’s no need. However, if you jack in, you’ll find yourself hip-deep in deckers, who are chatting up a storm.

>>Bingo: This place is a front, pure and simple. There ain’t nothing here, or nothing much. A bare-bones bar, and a few sullen patrons. Sheesh. Don’t ever take yer decker here, cuz they’ll go ga-ga over it, and there’s nothing more boring than watching yer decker cooing and drooling for a few hours while you drink their damned café lattes and what-not. I seen the Lounge once, when a decker pal of mine with a heads-up screen jacked in; it’s a pretty snazzy place, for something that doesn’t really exist. I’d give this joint one star, although my decker pals say it’s a five-star pad. But c’mon, they’re deckers, fer chrissake!!<<