Interview by Dave Neal. Compilation and introductory information by Solace

The Characters:

Bingo The Cyberclown: A heavily-augmented former soldier. His skin is bleached and he has green hair. His appearance and manner can best be described as "freakish." One might think that Bingo spent a little *too much time* with the military ...

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ES: Why the hell are you a clown, of all things?

B: Huh? Well, it ain’t like I turned this color for the heck of it, sporto. I mean, this is, like, a side effect of some nasty stuff I got exposed to back in the DMZ.

ES: No shit? What was it?

B: Ehhh, I think it was their damned weed killer, oh, what the heck’s it called? Knockout? Tundra? Hell, I can’t remember. Anyway, they sprayed the shit all over the place to kill the vegetation – you know, so folks couldn’t be hiding behind shrubs and trees. The crap killed everything – left it all ashy. Never seen anything like that.

ES: What happened then?

B: Mmmm, well, some goofball opens up on me from about 500 yards, breaching my powersuit.

ES: Where was this?

B: Cleveland? Detroit? Or maybe down in St. Louis? Can’t recall. So many police actions, so little time… (exhales cigar smoke, watches it thoughtfully) Lessee, would'a been Detroit, cuz Chunks was still around...sheesh...good ole Chunks. (takes a nip from a flask in his breast pocket)

ES: So, you had a suit breach…

B: Yeah, but we had 48 hours until dustup, so I was stuck until then, so I just slogged through, shooting anything that moved. Back then, you know, my TC was straight off the assembly line, and so I had the drop on those Rebs.

ES: TC?

B: Tactical Computer. And, on top of that, I was hooked up in that sweet powersuit, the old T-135 "Obliterator" – I tellya, that thing is a walking battalion!

ES: Yet the sniper breached your armor?

B: Hell yes! (leans forward) Sonny, a 20mm shell can breach whatever the hell it wants to breach, you savvy? The fact that my yin and my yang are still together is testimony to the integrity of that damned suit! I just forked a couple of derms and was just fine. Anyway, the T-135 had a great sensor array, so that, tied in with my TC, made me a total dynamo – and that doesn’t even count that we were in a squad! Hah, those Rebs didn’t have a chance!

ES: What happened?

B: We breached the bunker, got the data, blew the place – one of those "nuke in a bottle" deals – baby nuke. The fortress was so tough, it contained the explosion – just sorta bounced around in there, and the whole damn thing imploded into a crater. What a sight!

ES: That still doesn’t explain your…unusual complexion.

B: Well, I didn’t know anything was wrong until dustup, when we hightailed it outta there. I mean, a squad of T-135’s could hold off a conventional army, but the Rebs had themselves their own assault armor and we weren’t about to have a pissing contest with’em. We left right on the dot. When they ran us through decomtam, that’s when all the damn buzzers went off. See, I figured I was in for it, what with that armor breach and all, and with all that shit the friggin Rebs were using at the time, but I guess I hoped they could deal with it.

So, they blow my armor and these damn techs in their wetsuits, you know the ones – those baby blue/green jobbers with the airhoses – they scrub the shit outta me, and I’m under this damn UV light -- fortunately I had fake eyes or I’d be fucked, eh? Anyway, I find out that this shit is in my system, and they do like a Code Blue decontam on me.

ES: What is that?

B: Well, if I didn’t have all that hardware locked up in me, they’d have cacked me straightaway, just to play it safe, right? But I wasn’t about to let those pricks do that, so I get free of’em and hang out in quarantine, under observation. I dunno if the shit did it to me, or their damn treatment did it, but I look in the mirror and see my damn skin is bleached bone white! No pigmentation whatsoever! And my hair is this freaky blue color (once it grew back).

ES: So, it’s not makeup?

B: What the hell you think? You think I’d *willingly* go around like this?? (Pfffff) Pissant.

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