I am creating, making, and sharing of life's objects including feelings, thoughts, concepts, and ideas.
I have found much solace and satisfaction in many aspects of daily living including vocation, home, and many avocations. I feel that I look at living differently than the conventional view of work hard at one thing and then just play. I see my existence as a time and place to learn, to be creative, to make a better reality for not only me, but everyone else I can, and to do it with love and conviction. I am an avid personality type who really does enjoy the imaginative inventive creative process. So with inspiration, I write this set of words in an attempt to describe these heartfelt aspects that are an integral part of my reality.
By my words, I mean no disrespect and am not intending to show condescension towards others around me. Meaning, I feel that this collection of words is not an indictment of people, rather an explanation of myself. So, if people desire to not take my words of "not following the norm" literally as "just me and my words," and choose to "read implicitly between the lines" and "take things personally," then, I apologize in advance.
I realize that the idea of definitions go against the 1Buddhist philosophy of defining something, confines that something, but I am a quite literal person and I see words as explicit descriptions of objects, activities, attitudes, feelings and beliefs. If we are to accept the literal definition of words, then we may better define and understand… well, at least for myself, myself.
So, in an effort to define what bestows happiness upon me, what grants me a sense of actualization, value, worth and purpose, and what it is that gives me a sense of accomplish, I need to convey some definitions.
In explaining an aspect of personality, I see:
Spectator as: Viewer, Watcher, Observer,
Onlooker, Bystander, Outsider, and Eyewitness
Participant as: Member, Contributor,
Contestant, Applicant, Partaker, and Accomplice.
What to do with one's life:
Vocation: A career, profession, occupation,
work, trade, or calling used for the generation of income.
Avocation: A philanthropic activity,
a passion, work, skill, craft, or art that is usually not for the generation of
income.
Earning and resting:
Work: Labor, effort, perform, succeed,
place of employment, operate, make, and produce.
Leisure: Free time, spare time, time
off, vacation, holiday, relaxation, R and R, ease, and rest.
Value:
Good: Quality, skillful, caring, excellence,
clear, concise, lawful, honest, fidelity, positive, etc.
Evil: Inferiority, incompetent, uncaring,
mediocrity, unclear, vague, illegal, lying, infidelity, negative, etc.
To better understand this person called me, I will describe my chosen pathway of contentment, to which I have lined with my preferences.
I prefer make a box to looking at a box in the store.
I'd rather paint a painting over looking at a painting in a museum.
I much prefer to put on the play rather than be the audience.
I’d sooner listening to music at home than go and listening to music at a music event with amplified sound.
I prefer being close to a few good time tested friends rather than have a lot of acquaintances.
I would rather be in a marriage than have many dates with sexual freedom.
I tend towards more deep meaningful conversations then to just involve myself in casual chitchat.
I'd watch animals before watching people.
I need to talk with the person rather than talk about the person.
I am a type of person who solves problems rather than make problems.
I seek to understand rather than just accept.
I’d visit one country and live amongst its people before I'd be in a tour group and visit many countries.
Though, I am not opposed to being an onlooker, I'd more so prefer being a participant. I just enjoy doing rather than being.
Spectator?
If I were to be a spectator, I would pursue watching activities of 2quality such as:
If I sought to view art, I would seek the positive and shun the negative. This art can be monochromatic or colorful, geometric or flowing, can be of known shapes or unrecognizable forms, but for me it needs to be more than the common forms known as kitsch. And though, it may tell of something positive or negative, I desire it to be a constructive, encouraging, affirmative, intellectual expression. For me, art is a conveyance of ideas and concepts coupled with feelings…
When listening to music, and I really do enjoy music, I tend towards the non-minimalist in-depth melodic expressions of excellent talent. Be it classical, jazz, rock, or spiritual/new age, I enjoy music with depth, breath, width, color, emotion, and character. But I tend to turn off and be turned off by the popular because of its commercialism, similarity, effortlessness, and constantly restated minimalism.
A little house of Distinction...
"My house, is a very very fine house…" All melodic joking aside. I have restored this turn of the century bungalow to its original grandeur. It is of a style composed of various eclectic but harmonious schools of architecture. Though at the time of its construction, it was an expression of some opulence, it was still affordable by the average middle-income person of the 1900s. For its time, it was a unique and innovative house.
Despite the fact that it is very old (circa 1911) and cost me a half to a third the cost of an average house, it is still a good house. Since I have carefully restored the imperfections and deteriorations, and harmoniously added the more modern conveniences, it is now a great house of history, character, and warmth.
I still have this idealistic utopian desire to a part of a community of like minds living within walking distance of my abode. 3I feel that there is a certain aspect of closeness not found with a car, streets, and a highway between people.
In contrast to the norm, I usually to get to know my neighbors. In every neighborhood I have ever lived in, I have acquainted myself with many people. In my current living place, I have befriended a fellow woodworker who has spend much of his single life in various western seaboard places and has many colorful stories to tell about these places.
The Automobile
Though comfortable clean and runs well, my car is a mechanism that I would rather do without. It is a constantly deteriorating device that is unsafe and pollutes the air I breathe. I would feel better if I did not have to always drive to get places.
Vocation vs.
Avocation 
My career is not the sum total of my being meaning, I work very hard during the week and I do the best job I can. But, I allow myself other time away from work. And yes, I am probably the exception; I still do very much enjoy my career.
Tourism,
and Sight Seeing
I have been told in a somewhat condescending manor that I am missing a great deal of experiences in life, that I am not a whole person because I refuse to turn over to the travel conglomerates my hard earned money. Yet, I don't feel that I am any less of a person for not traveling the world. I guess I never found that "tourism" was that important. If I do travel, it is to live in a place for a while with people who are native to that place.
In my unconventionality, I have found that there are those things that I do not go after; one of these is money. Though I am not poor and am paid a decent wage for my work, I have a lack of interest regarding the earning of considerable income. I find joy in the means of earning it, but don't wish for the end dollar.
Many things that many
feel are out of their reach are within my grasp, because I, being self-taught, can
attain these things using my abilities coupled with creativity. It is my focus
on what I can do that allows me to eventually have what others feel is out of their
grasp
Be it all aspects of building a house, a computer, a stereo, a cabinet, making curtains, or just cooking dinner, I have not been mysteriously endowed with extraordinary abilities, rather I have, through trial and error, developed these many and varied talents. I can conceptualize the inner workings of many things and I can make them work.
The
foremost question that has been asked of me in response to descriptions of my life
passions is:
"Are you obsessed or something?"
I then answer, "If obsession leads to creativity, then call me passionately fixated!"
The question may be motivated by a belief that it is not practical for one to easily have that particular something as easily as I would have it, i.e. a home telephone system that make it so much easier when dealing with the phone.
I feel that this may be seemingly hard for people to figure out, but I love life and all of its wonders. I want to see how it works and I have a desire to make it better.
I realize
that life for most is people going about their daily lives eking out a frugal existence
for them and their children. I have all of the respect and admiration for them.
It's just that I want to invite all to imagine, think about, experience, and endeavor,
to seek an open life away from the confines of polite society.
To me, life is a positive thing and we are more than just matter in motion brought about by pure chance. We are not merely cogs in a giant mechanism called civilization, we are unique individuals living and alive. And, as such, we need to respect the preciousness of every human. For that is who we are.
Because I have trouble in a large crowd and I very much dislike being the center of attention, I desire and am much more comfortable in a one to one basis. I do not have many acquaintances that I call friends. Instead, I have a few really good loving time-tested friends that I have known for some time. It has been my areas of interest that has drawn us together and has sustained our friendship.
I am probably unusual in that my friends have never met each other. In fact, a lot of them might hate each other if they ever met. For you see, my friends are as diverse on political and religious viewpoints as they are in personality characteristics.
HeartI am an easy relaxed person who really does desire to be with a female person in marriage. I have never married, but I still have an idealist view of the loving merging union of two adults.
On several occasions, a question has been asked of me: If I could change my life, in what way would it be? Another follow-up question was then asked: if I suddenly became rich and famous and everyone I met suddenly loved me, would I forget about all of this stuff about creativity and just be with and like everyone I met?
The answer I respond with is a solid emphatic NO! I further respond by saying that these things called an active imagination and a lively curiosity are absolutely a positive integral of me that I will always have it, regardless if I am rich or loved by all.
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The joy and fascination of my creative process is something that as been with me for as long as I can remember. In fact, I think every kid has this. I have thoroughly enjoyed designing, creating and making something. Be it a paragraph of words, a loudspeaker, a sculpture, a garden, a bookshelf, or just dinner, I just like doing something that involves creation.
These
abilities of making something came from my years of maturation. Be it successes
or failures, I did these things with joy and desire, simply because I assumed that I could eventually
do it. In the orientation of my mind, I sought answers to questions, developed
my talents, and I gained the experiences that would allow me to seek and fine, make
and build, and have and give.
In me, this inclination starts with a desire coupled with an idea. Instead of watching a mindless TV program, I would aspire to have, use, or give an object or eventful experiential moment and I would ponder and even daydream about ways of obtaining this…thing.
"Necessity is the motherhood of invention…"
Though this may
sound cold or conceited to some, I do not
fear wanting something because I can consider many ways and select the most efficient
way of getting it. More times than not, this will involve making it. An example
is that I can afford to desire studio quality audio fidelity, because I believe that I can obtain it
by making a device that will produce it.
Such was not always the way for me in life. I grew up believing that I was far less capable than the average person. And, the things I did try to make revealed this belief. Though I could tap into the creative realm and make things, they were often times less than usable. It was in my adult life that I found this need to create workable things, if not better than commercially available things, as well as. Though at first I was fraught with failures, I soon found through repeated small successes, that I could do the things necessary to craft or construct wondrous objects.
To give you a simplified example: I desire a decorative box to give to an older woman who has been a wonderful kind friend to me. This box will hold her jewelry and other little items she holds near and dear to her heart and are now just sitting scattered around in her top drawer of her dresser. I try to put myself into her feelings and think how nice it would be to have a little drawer for each type of item. I then start to design this box in my head…
…and low and behold, this image starts to take shape.
I will contemplate the woods that I would want to use, the color it might be, and I envision how it would feel. This box might contain 70 to 80 small pieces of wood ranging from the size of the box to one of its feet. Each little drawer could have dove tail joinery and be made of woods that would not swell with changes in humidity. I imagine in my minds eye how the pieces of each little piece would go together (the joinery techniques).
If I cannot figure out how to do something, I would just go find out by something as simple as asking someone. But all the same, through experimentation, I would eventually figure it out.
After a few hours of work, there it sits, finished so smooth to the touch, the glow of the patina, and the waves of the wood fibers brightly reflecting back the light.
This process of design and building has been my foundation in life. I think about how things work and I try to figure out how something functions, by imagining its inner workings. I can then quickly determine how to create something based on my experiences of how others have done… something like it. This methodology coupled with my imagination and curiosity gives me this incentive to do, to create something that others may or may not have done before.
Stephen
Footnotes
[1] Is this a little levity on my part? Words are not boxes, rather they are stepping stones with which can be used to build houses.
[2] I understand that quality can be a subjective term but I believe that there is a consensus as to what true quality is.
[3] It seems to me that "We have so many friends, yet we don't know any of our neighbors."